He Wasn't There
by xo pirate
Summary: Raph's wall is finally torn and he realizes his brother isn't there.


_Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT, or Bruce Willis. Which I'm pretty sure would be illegal. Uhm, okay I have no affiliation with Bruce. Yeah._

_Just a quick one shot. Hope it's delightfully deceiving :)_

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**He Wasn't There**

My feet landed softly on the solid concrete as I padded down the hall in absolute darkness. The lair was quiet except for the incessant drip of the kitchen faucet. Don said he'd fix that one day. Quietly I descended the stairs at the end of the elevated, rail-lined catwalk of sorts that lead from our rooms to the main living quarters. The quiet hum of the Tivo sitting next to the t.v. greeted me. I smiled admiring the green glowing numbers. Don's such a genius. He made the first Tivo before the company existed. Although he didn't call it that, naw, he had some weird long technical name for it. Explained the general premise though, a hard drive that recorded from the cable lines. Yeah, Don was way ahead of the times. The thing was great, the real bummer was waiting for the cable company to catch up so we could use it. I quietly stepped past the quiet arcade games Mikey had found and drug to the lair. Don helped him with those two. Rigged it so he wouldn't need quarters with every play. Now we can't hardly keep 'im away from 'em. I smiled at the silent black screen, knowing tomorrow at some point Mikey'd have it blasting its little midi music. I rounded the edge of the couch and was greeted with a faint light. I sighed, shaking my head as I marched to the closed door. I knocked once, no reply. I waited, he probably had his nose stuck in some book, or maybe he was passed out on the desk, using some research papers as a pillow. I knocked again, the rapping echoing in the darkness. My fingers gently pried the door open, the pale light spilling across my face. I smiled, my brother sat awake at the desk, eyes intently focused on the computer screen in front of him. "Dammit Don." I whispered, my voice stern but not loud enough to disturb my brother. "How many times 'ave we told ya. If yer gonna work, turn a light on." I scolded, finger flipping the small switch and illuminating the room. My brother turned and blinked at me, eyes adjusting to the shock of light.

"Sorry Raph." He feigned a smile and turned back to his work. He quickly typed something on the small white keyboard, keys clacking with every movement of his fingers. I quietly peered over his shoulder, my eyes getting lost in a series of numbers and letters. I nodded and stepped back, Don shifting in the chair. "Can't sleep again?" He asked not looking away. I nodded.

"Yeah. Ya know, nuthin' new though." I turned for the door.

"Still having those nightmares?" I quickly turned back to my brother, his words were calm and his attention still sat on the computer screen. I slowly nodded.

"Guess I don't have to tell ya anything, ya jus' get it huh?" His comment had taken me by surprise, I hadn't told a soul what my troubles with sleeping were. He just nodded.

"Don't have to tell me Raph. I just know." "You hungry?" I changed the subject real quick, hoping he wouldn't try to ask any questions. Last thing I needed at three a.m was a session with Doctor Don. He shook his head, eyes never leaving the screen, agile fingers typing a few more things. I shrugged and made my way to the kitchen in the dark.

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I plopped myself onto the couch, sinking into the fluffy cushions as I balanced my newly made sandwich in one hand and glass of soda in the other. Don's light poured from the room casting long shadows on the furniture in the living room. I set my glass on the hard wooden table. I had helped Don sand and varnish it. He had found it one night at the dump while looking for computer parts. That was Don, always looking out for everyone else. My fingers slid over the smooth but worn buttons until they reached their goal. The picture tube lit up and voices came falling through the speakers. Once the thing had settled I realized the picture was fuzzy. "Aw Don! The t.v's messin' up again." I called between bites.

"I'll get it later." He called from behind me, voice barely above a whisper. I turned and peered over the back of the fuzzy orange couch. Of course Mike liked the color. Don sat now with his beak shoved between the pages of a book. I couldn't make out what he was reading from here, but it was a thick one. That was Donnie. Always reading something. The shelves in his room were covered with books, there must have been close to a thousand. April always brought him books when the library would hold a book sale. He had tons of medical books, always cramming every bit of medicinal knowledge that he could into his brain. In case one of us got hurt. He also had a lot of computer books, and general science books. Plenty of books to help him with experiments too. I nodded not forcing the television issue. Eh, he was busy right? I turned back to the screen and tried to concentrate on the movie I had turned on, but my eyes kept watching the fuzzy lines ripple through the picture. And a rippling Bruce Willis does not make for a fun movie. I fumbled for the remote in the darkness, settling on something less intense to watch. "Hey wanna watch something on the Discovery channel?" I called not looking back. Maybe he'd welcome the break.

"That's alright." His voice was still quiet. I cocked an eyebrow and turned again, peering through the tiny white fuzz balls on the back of the couch, across the dark walkway leading to the kitchen and into my brother's 'lab' as he liked to call it. Now he was focused again on the computer. Quietly I jumped from the couch and marched to his room, resting against the door frame.

"And why not? I mean, s'not everyday I volunteer to watch your kinda t.v yanno." I smiled, crossing my arms against my chest. Don smiled looking up at me. He nodded.

"I know. And I thank you but not tonight Raph." He returned to his book as he finished his sentence. I nodded and entered the room, my eyes falling over the titles on his bookcase. I helped him build that. He was pretty proud of it. Don wasn't much for power tools, but he was genuinely pleased with himself about this bookcase.

"Remember when we built this?" I smiled rapping my knuckles on the solid wood side. "Man, that was a fun night." I peered over my shoulder, Don nodding but still buried in his book. "I can't believe we found all this wood though, to think someone would throw all this out." Yup, Me 'n' Don, expert dumpster divers.

"Raph?" A questioning voice wafted over my shoulder. It wasn't Don. I spun on my heels and saw Leo standing in the doorway. We must have woken him up.

"I'm sorry Leo. Didn't mean to wake ya." I smiled, turning to Don. He had his usual sheepish smile, apologizing for being so careless in the middle of the night. Leo nodded, looking slightly perplexed. "C'mon Leo. I'm not always mean to ya." I gently punched his arm as I stepped closer to him. He nodded again, eyes darting to the floor. He cleared his throat and looked up at me, eyes holding a slight coat of worry.

"Who..." He paused. "Who ya talking to?" He finished, now his face was covered with the worry, like it poured from his eyes like Niagara Falls. I furrowed my brow, straightening my shoulders and standing up completely straight.

"Wha'da ya mean? I'm talking ta Donnie." I pointed at the chair in front of the computer. Leo's eyes darted to the black chair and back to me.

"Raph.." He quietly started taking a stepped towards me, arms slightly raised. Like he was gonna hug me or somethin'. I turned to Don's desk. The chair sat empty, still facing the hard wood, the computer screen black and untouched. He wasn't there. I spun back to Leo, eyes wide. Everything hit me, my world finally cumbled. The wall I had built trying to deny what had happend finally gave way. I slowly shook my head as I backed away from the desk, meeting the solid back wall of my brother's empty room. My shell scraped the hard surface as I slid to the floor, my face in my hands. My tears wet my palms as I sobbed, my body shaking with every exhale. My chest tightened, my breaths becoming forced. I choked, drawing my knees to my chin. Leo quietly sat beside me, never saying a word. He gently rested his hand on my knee, his palm hot against my flesh. I sat sobbing until I ran out of breath, finally quieting. My tears staining my cheeks as I raised my eyes to my oldest brother. He quietly wrapped his arms around me, firmly holding me to his chest. My tears returned as I finally realized, Donnie wasn't there.

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_A.N. - I'm not totally sold on the ending sooo, any constructive criticism would be appreciated:)_


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